the future.....

Sorry for keepin u ppl waitin for so long…….had too much shit on my plate……ive finished my exams and im not too proud of myself…..but its ok……bungling is a part of my life and I manage to see the bright side of it always……ny ways the day our xams got over, me and a bunch of my friends did what is a certified and highly recommended procedure for a self-brainwash…….gulp down a lot of booze……then we did crazy things ( as expected) like peeing in a landscaped garden of a corporate park by the highway, peeing outside the entrance to a hutment, doin pushups in the middle of the street and singing songs that damaged sarang’s self esteem severely…..

Everyone in this crazy group in college ( including me) is destined for greatness…..destined to get famous, get a lot of booty and a lot of moolah…..but there are a few professions they must avoid at all costs…...coz if they do venture in em, im sure they’ll get their ass f**cked to redness……

So heres a list of professions they shud avoid…..

1.TUSHAR --- maths professor
WHY--- takin into account all the trauma this dreaded subject has given him,
I can safely presume that if he becomes one he will screw every single
student in
his class and mentally scar them permanently……just to imbibe some sadistic
pleasure …..in short hell turn into a lunatic…..just like the professor who
has fckd his case in coll now……
INSTEAD TRY….workin in a govt bank with short working hours so that u end
up havin ur normal amount of sleep

2.KAKA--- public spokesperson of a reputed firm or company / couples’ therapist or
marriage counselor……
WHY--- though he will surely end up havin a huge fanbase….. his spontaneous
remarks and the sheer talent of sayin the wrong things at the wrong time to anyone
at any place fearlessly might cost the firm dearly……I mean don’t be surprised if
when his firm is not doin well, u see him releasin a statement sayin “ the company
has been f**ckd hard man…..it now needs time to recover from the trauma”……and if u
have girl problems( not the ‘ur a grl and u have problems’ problems…tho still
applicable)…ull get urlself killd if u go to him for advice.
INSTEAD TRY…..inherit ur dad’s business……bcome the next mallya….

3.SARANG---- he can work at any place provided his office is not at churchgate….
WHY--- ive concluded……from mere observation….. that this guy cannot do well in
that locale…however hard he tries...he might still wanna work there but I strongly
suggest he shud consult an astrologer b4 doin so…..u know…..change his name a
bit….and then try again…..
INSTEAD TRY……working at ANDHERI………hahahahaha!!!!!!!!

4.ABHIRAM--- model in ads
WHY --- he is losin hair at a faster rate than the pace at which Britney, Pamela
and Lindsay change their lovers…….also he is gainin some extra pounds……he
can star in a hair loss treatment commercial though….anyways im a wellwisher
and I hope he succeeds in stopping or atleast slowin down his aging process….
INSTEAD TRY…...can fit into any other profession as long as he stays sober during
working hours

5.ABHAY--- this guy is a god……he probably will fit into any job given to him……so
will have to break the usual format for him …… tho I strongly feel he shud be a
liquor baron ……that will ensure fame, money and chicks and all this by dealin in a
thing he loves so dearly……

6.SAURUBH--- any job with workin hrs startin from 8.30 am….
WHY --- Is incapable of reaching before 11 am……apart from this keep ur distance
from this guy if ur a female colleague and ur younger to him…..he is the next
micheal Jackson….he is not made of plastic though…
INSTEAD TRY……workin at a place with non rigid workin hrs….

7.DHANANJAY--- heavy weight lifter
WHY--- he is incapacitated because he has a broken spine……incapable of even
lifting feather weights……also his muscles have revolted against him….they don’t
wanna grow anymore…..
INSTEAD TRY……anything less strenuous.

8.BATTOO --- a football player…..ya im serious!!!
WHY--- soccer is his life…..an xcellent player himself…..but he is so engulfed in
it that he is unable to see the other joys in life…has neither been drunk, nor
stoned….and no booty either….
INSTEAD TRY….playin with other stuffs…u know!!…find some WAGs…n if u do….spread
the wealth….make ur homies happy….

Hope u all have a rosy future ahead……after all this if one of u still gets fckd in the butt…..i cant help it.

Until next time

ADIOS!!!